Why We Are No Longer Allowed In Public Places

Last night, after an impromptu hair cut for Nathan, we decided on a quick-y dinner at a local Denny's. We don't go there often, but we were lusting after some burgers and good cheap kids menus. About fifteen minutes after ordering our food, we started to remember why we stopped eating out when Zoe was a baby.
Simon was cranky, hungry, wet-diapered, and loud.
All good things to be while in a restaurant.
To our left, with work computer and papers strewn about, was a business man, trying to conduct a meeting via his blue-tooth earphone (who does this in a Denny's?).
I watched Mr. Important Meeting Man scoot as far away as possible from our loud table, but Simon just kicked it up a notch.
Aaaaaeeeeeeeiiiiiiiiaaaahhhhh....sob..sob...aaaaAAAiiiieeehaaaaa!!
We ordered our screamer some apple sauce and he gobbled it up way before the rest of our food came, yet managed to resume crying between each bite. We let him have the whipped cream off of the top of my milkshake.
We transferred him from my lap, to Nathan's lap, to a high chair, back to Nathan's lap...round and round like a hot potato.
He cried the whole time and we were beginning to get desperate.
Zoe, sensing our weakening parental skills, tried to help out by ordering her own food.
"Pancakes with whipped cream and chocolate chips and a hot cocoa with extra whipped cream and a cherry." She ordered, matter-of-factly to our smiling waitress.
Nathan, remembering my uber-preparedness at our last outing, asked me if I still had a bag of cheerios stuffed in my purse.
Of course not, I ate them.
But! I remembered seeing some in Simon's car carrier seat when I last buckled him in! They had fallen from Simon's slimy grimy hands when we last fed him some.
Nathan plucked four very sad and stale cheerios from the bottom of Simon's seat.
He carefully took each old cheerio and broke them in half (eight pieces last longer than four!), giving them to our now jubilant cheerio loving boy, one by one.
We scarfed down our food in those few quiet minutes and left the restaurant (baby crying), never to be seen again.