Good Friday, at it's finest

Today is Good Friday. In the Christian faith, Good Friday is a day of mourning and sacrifice. The day of Christ's crucifixion. In the church I grew up in, we "celebrated" this day by decorating the church in black. The alter was stripped of all decoration and draped in black. There was no singing in the service, and the focus was entirely on the grief wrapped around the sacrifice of God's Son. I have always found this day to be important to me, and so relevant. One can not fully experience the joy of standing on the mountain top, of a life renewed, without first traveling through the depths of the valleys.
So I find it somewhat fitting that today our day is filled with Simon's CT scan and the funeral of a close friend.
As most of you know, I grew up as an only child, but never really considered myself one. Next door to my house lived The Nace's - Sandy, Larry, and their eventual four children. I met Jenna and Roberta when I was three, maybe four, and as their family grew to include Grady and Jody, I got experience life as a big sister. I love this family as my own, and always will. Last Friday, Larry, their father, passed away unexpectedly in his sleep. There is a whole story regarding his heart, but the gist of it is that we all know exactly where he is. As christians go, he was one of the strongest and most amazing. It was his goal in life to be a man of God, and he was very successful. So today we celebrate his life, because as Christians we also know that there is joy in the mourning.
Simon, on the other hand, probably won't be up to too much celebrating. The CT scan is done already, but in order to do it we had to sedate his wiggly self. The scan took all of two minutes and now we are sort of stuck here waiting for him to wake up. I don't think we'll know any results right away, but as soon as we do I'll keep you posted.
So today, on this Good Friday, don't forget to look for the joy that is coming. Maybe not today, and maybe not tomorrow, but soon, and in the meantime, don't be afraid to grieve.

From A whole heap of pictures

My son.

Today we were supposed to be packing and taking a load of things to Goodwill (which Zoe still calls Good Wheel), but instead Simon had what we think was a partial seizure.  He was with my mom and got upset (really upset, crying really hard) after playing with his toys in the basement and when she went to pick him up he arched his back stuck his arms out all tense and funny. He stopped breathing too and she had to squeeze him tight and rub his chest to get him to snap out of it. When she brought him upstairs where I was cooking he was all pale and sweaty and tired. He was confused too and wouldn't talk to us at all, he just wanted to snuggle and nap. The thing is that he's done this before, for a long time.  We even brought it up to our doctor at one point, but at the time it seemed more like an intense toddler tantrum than anything else. Now though, we are starting to get worried about it. 

Our doctor took us in thirty minutes later and checked him out. We started Simon on a bunch of tests and I had to hold him down while he got his blood drawn. Next he gets to have a CAT scan. 

These episodes only seem to happen about once a month, but they definitely seem to be getting worse. We are especially unimpressed with the not breathing bit and how he postures himself while it happens - all signs of seizures. 

I'm not even really sure what to think at this point. When we got home I fed him lunch and held him while he napped.  

In reality though, nothing has really changed. Simon is still Simon, and these episodes he has are nothing totally new, it's just that we are trying to get to the bottom of them. It's hard to not think too hard about all the possibilities and so far I've been good and not Googled too many scenarios.  

So tomorrow we will get up in the morning, visit the goats next door and try to schedule a CAT scan. You know, another ordinary day. 

Babies

So I am currently at the hospital in the labor and delivery wing for the first time as a NOT PATIENT. Today is Mary's day and she is going to have baby Isaac, eventually. My mom is watching the kids for me and I am here with Cameron and Mary's mom just sort of waiting. But it's a good kind of wait, you know?

It is interesting to be here on this side of the delivery bed! I still get that warm happy feeling listening to the baby's heartbeat though, even if it isn't from one of my babies. Something about that sound brings back the wonder of it all. It is Saint Patrick's Day and we are lucky because the hospital food is pretty good today - corned beef and cabbage and bangers and mash. I even snuck in a bottle of Kilt Lifter beer for Cameron. For later.

Right now two of the four people in here are snoring, so I am thinking it will be awhile before the little guy joins us.

Happy Saint Patrick's Day!

Bigger?

From A whole heap of pictures

Wrong Tuesday

It's Tuesday and  I was just trying to figure out what to do with the day. I was a whole week ahead of myself and got the kids all dressed and ready to go to Isla's next weight check before I realized that I would have been about seven days early. Now I am watching Simon attempt to drive matchbox cars over the cat while she does her preemptive "I'm going to freaking eat you" growl. I'm finding it harder and harder to gain motivation to do things like housework and job searching. So instead I've been doing things like going to the park and knitting hats and playing at Malia's house. Way way way more fun. The guilt though has started to creep in a bit. And the pile of things in the sink (dishes?) is getting really gross. Oh and when Nathan gets home he looks around the house and scowls at me. 

So today is the day.  I've already turned on the giant espresso machine and as soon as I pull a couple of good shots its off to house-maker mode. But don't worry, it's only temporary. During the five weeks I got to stay home after Simon was born, my friends told me that Nathan did a better job at keeping the house clean than I did. As mad as I was at them, it was totally true. 

Little Isla is still doing pretty good. She had another disappointing weight check while Nathan was gone in El Salvador, but I started giving her a bottle of formula every night before bed and she's back up again. She is now at ten pounds seven ounces. It amazes me to think that some babies come out that big!  We are still nursing every two hours so we don't get out that much. I miss my friends a lot lately. Friends, I miss you! The job hunt continues and the house hunt has begun. All those things together keep me pretty occupied. 

Nathan had an amazing time in El Salvador. He is really excited about his job again, and where it is taking him. I keep trying to picture where he and I will be even just a year from now and I can't. It deffinately won't be where we are now!

We have some good friends that are on an amazing journey. They are going to live in Africa to help develop and run a retreat center for local pastors. They just got back from visiting the area and are now in the process of coming up with a plan for funding.  This is something that Nathan and I have always dreamed of doing.  I think it will happen for us some day, maybe when the kids are older. If you want to pray for our friends, or keep up with their adventures, you can visit their blog at www.thehuckabyfamily.blogspot.com.

Anyways, that is probably enough procrastinating and disjointed rambling for now. I'll see if I can get some more cute pictures up of the kids soon! 

Room with a View

So Nathan arrived safe and sound in San Salvador this morning. After a twenty dollar cell phone call we discovered the wonders of gmail video chat and built in computer cameras. 

This is the view from his room:

From El Salvador

He has the day to kind of orient himself and get to know the people he is traveling with. Tonight they are all eating dinner together and tomorrow starts the real sight seeing. Throughout the whole week he will be visiting a number of coffee plantations and seeing the crops at the height of the season. I think he'll be doing some cupping too. I'll do my best to keep a running log of his adventures too, but be sure to check his blog too, www.2ndcrack.com

San Salvador

We are in Seattle getting Nathan ready for his flight tonight to San Salvador! To check in on him and his trip be sure to check his blog at www.2ndcrack.com. I'll be writing about his trip here too.
Have fun Nathan, we love you!

Warning: Contents Cute

I swear to you that this will be my last "oh look at my babies" post for a while. I've got a great refinery story to tell you as soon as I find a good enough picture to accompany. I'm just hyper aware that my stay at home mom-ness days are severely numbered and I'm milking it (haha) for all it's worth. And besides, these kids are my secret weapon for conquering the world (and paying for my early retirement). Really, it doesn't get any cuter than this:

From January2009

From January2009

Check out that double chin! We really have the eating thing down now and aren't too worried about her wasting away.  Simon has been trying to teach his new sister all the important games, like Your Nose Goes "Honk, Honk, Beep, Beep," and Always Laugh When You Fart. Important stuff here.

From January2009

Morgan and Zoe have been busy with school, karate and ballet but are just as cute as ever too.T I need to be better at getting the camera out when they are home too. We were all at the grocery store the other day, which is one of those activities that drives fear to my bones (which little one goes in the cart and who is going to have to keep an eye on Simon and if I put him in the cart too where are the groceries going to go and Zoe wants a cookie but it's almost dinner time and when it's all said and done where the heck did I park the car?) and three separate people came up to me to tell me how nice my family was. I was just glad they didn't see us in the check out line.

Mostly, I'm struggling with the impending return to work. I know Isla is our last baby and I just want to stuff every single memory of this time with her in my brain. Her tiny feet, ears and hands, her first smiles, how she holds my finger while she nurses. I love these moments. I barely remember Zoe's, and have to look at photos to recall just how tiny she was (six pounds).  Simon seems like he was tiny just a little while ago, but when I look at him now, it's the trademark Simon-ness that I want to never forget. The goofy smile and ridiculous laugh. This boy loves his baby sister ferociously. Isla is HIS baby, so don't get too close. 

From January2009

From January2009

Although lately there has been a little bit of jealousy from him. He can't stand for her to have a pacifier and not him as well, so we haven't been able to wean him from those yet. And he loves her chair.  He steals these two items every chance he gets.

From January2009

 This stay at home mom stuff is pretty great, even if I do lose my mind on occasion and miss the smell of crude oil in the mornings (cough cough). Mostly I miss doing a few things for me, like taking the time to style my hair. Or brewing the perfect mocha. I'm starting to find ways to fit a few of these things in, like running in the morning and on dance nights there is a whole hour of me alone in a cafe. I'll miss being able to take Zoe to the bus and being here when she gets home, and I'll miss hearing Simon run around the house like a boy on fire trying to catch the kitty. I'll miss baby yawns in the afternoon and five thousand readings of Good Night Moon by nap time. But me going back to work, even just part time, will mean us getting into a bigger house where Simon can have his first bedroom (not ours!), and I can make a nursery for Isla, and Morgan can have a space all her own. I think Zoe just wants to make sure that she will be able to play outside still, and ride her bike, she would sleep in the kitchen if she had too. And once we get all settled, I'll have an office to work from home!

But for now it's all about how cute my kids are and how much I love these days with them.  

From January2009