Good Friday, at it's finest

Today is Good Friday. In the Christian faith, Good Friday is a day of mourning and sacrifice. The day of Christ's crucifixion. In the church I grew up in, we "celebrated" this day by decorating the church in black. The alter was stripped of all decoration and draped in black. There was no singing in the service, and the focus was entirely on the grief wrapped around the sacrifice of God's Son. I have always found this day to be important to me, and so relevant. One can not fully experience the joy of standing on the mountain top, of a life renewed, without first traveling through the depths of the valleys.
So I find it somewhat fitting that today our day is filled with Simon's CT scan and the funeral of a close friend.
As most of you know, I grew up as an only child, but never really considered myself one. Next door to my house lived The Nace's - Sandy, Larry, and their eventual four children. I met Jenna and Roberta when I was three, maybe four, and as their family grew to include Grady and Jody, I got experience life as a big sister. I love this family as my own, and always will. Last Friday, Larry, their father, passed away unexpectedly in his sleep. There is a whole story regarding his heart, but the gist of it is that we all know exactly where he is. As christians go, he was one of the strongest and most amazing. It was his goal in life to be a man of God, and he was very successful. So today we celebrate his life, because as Christians we also know that there is joy in the mourning.
Simon, on the other hand, probably won't be up to too much celebrating. The CT scan is done already, but in order to do it we had to sedate his wiggly self. The scan took all of two minutes and now we are sort of stuck here waiting for him to wake up. I don't think we'll know any results right away, but as soon as we do I'll keep you posted.
So today, on this Good Friday, don't forget to look for the joy that is coming. Maybe not today, and maybe not tomorrow, but soon, and in the meantime, don't be afraid to grieve.

From A whole heap of pictures

My son.

Today we were supposed to be packing and taking a load of things to Goodwill (which Zoe still calls Good Wheel), but instead Simon had what we think was a partial seizure.  He was with my mom and got upset (really upset, crying really hard) after playing with his toys in the basement and when she went to pick him up he arched his back stuck his arms out all tense and funny. He stopped breathing too and she had to squeeze him tight and rub his chest to get him to snap out of it. When she brought him upstairs where I was cooking he was all pale and sweaty and tired. He was confused too and wouldn't talk to us at all, he just wanted to snuggle and nap. The thing is that he's done this before, for a long time.  We even brought it up to our doctor at one point, but at the time it seemed more like an intense toddler tantrum than anything else. Now though, we are starting to get worried about it. 

Our doctor took us in thirty minutes later and checked him out. We started Simon on a bunch of tests and I had to hold him down while he got his blood drawn. Next he gets to have a CAT scan. 

These episodes only seem to happen about once a month, but they definitely seem to be getting worse. We are especially unimpressed with the not breathing bit and how he postures himself while it happens - all signs of seizures. 

I'm not even really sure what to think at this point. When we got home I fed him lunch and held him while he napped.  

In reality though, nothing has really changed. Simon is still Simon, and these episodes he has are nothing totally new, it's just that we are trying to get to the bottom of them. It's hard to not think too hard about all the possibilities and so far I've been good and not Googled too many scenarios.  

So tomorrow we will get up in the morning, visit the goats next door and try to schedule a CAT scan. You know, another ordinary day.