Excrement, meet fan

A wise man once said that you have not truly blogged until you have blogged about poop.

That was your chance to hit the back button, quick!

Last night, was a night to not be a mom. A night where I should have just opened the door after returning home from work, and gone straight to bed. Should have skipped dinner, not passed go, and certainly not collected 200 dollars. Wait, I must have missed that part.
Anyways, last night was the night of spectacular excrement. A rare evening knee deep in fine company with...there is no way to say it to make it sound nice...
Last night was full of shit.
How, you might ask, did such an evening come to be??
Well, I'll lay it out for you, follow these steps and you can have your own night of fun!
1. Have the Nana watching your baby boy feed him lots of things like prunes, peas, and cheerios.
2. Listen to him giggle and fart the whole way home.
3. Once home, have your little girl let the dog out to go to the bathroom.
4. Make sure she romps through the grass where he does his business.
5. Unbuckle baby and realize that #2 wasn't actually farts.
6. Glance out window and watch daughter yell at dog while he poops on the deck.
7. Let baby play on floor while you scrape poop off deck.
8. Watch daughter run (shockingly fast!) into the bathroom.
9. Change a poop explosion (use no less than five wipes!) diaper and hear daughter crying in the bathroom.
10. Check on daughter, find out she is crying because she stepped in poop and has tracked it all over bathroom floor.
11. In her hysteria, (she's nothing if not dramatic) she has also pooped her pants.
12. Clean up poop in bathroom and get daughter into bubble bath.
13. Throw poop shoes outside and do laundry.
14. Hear husband come home, pick up baby and say, "WOW! You have a stinky diaper!" as he passes the babe to you.
15. Change second poop explosion diaper.
16. Sit on couch and reconsider motherhood.
Enjoy!